27 Comments

help

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I feel like I might have told you this before: years ago I pocket-dialled the senior police officer I’d been contacting re: research at work. I was driving home and he got a long voicemail of me singing ‘wind the bobbin up’ to my grizzly toddlers

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You are hilarious and Jamie Demetriou should be honoured to have you as an Instagram follower

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This!

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Oh lord. At least you can direct everyone to your substack now, this is your testimony—the OFFICIAL official story .

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Anne, pls find me a solicitor and direct them here if this gets any worse.

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Was trying to sneakily read this while pretending not to while my kid builds a Barbie diorama and not only did I get caught out SNORTING with laughter at the screenshot, I am now *shaking* with laughter behind her back. Thank you, as ever, dear Sophie

xxMarsh

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I read this out to my kids when I saw it on insta yesterday and all three of us cried laughing. Usually when I read stuff out to them from insta I just get withering looks.

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And I thought things happened to ME

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Argh! The stress!

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My belly has gone again

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OMG this is brilliant. Thank you for the genuine LOL

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The unwell feeling remains

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😂😂😂😂

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🤣

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In another life I was a 2nd AD, working a feature film that had a lot of supporting artists who were not professionals, but from a local community theatre group. We were doing night shoots and once scene was on board a bus, where a principal character was stabbed. One supporting artist was giving the ever treasured ‘line’ - to call 999 and say ‘someone’s been stabbed on the bus’. They got so excited they used their own phone and ACTUALLY dialled 999 and said ‘I’m on a bus and someone just been stabbed’ which brought four police cars and a helicopter to our location, and meant the whole crew had to stand down while the matter was resolved. Still burning with the fear/embarrassment/shame thinking about it.

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STRINGER BELL, oh ffs Sophie I am WHEEZING on the sofa 😆

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Yeah I don’t recommend doing that

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Hahaha of course, was wheezing so hard the irony was lost on me…!

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Oh Sophie! That’s both awful (the start) and funny (the end) I ❤️ your writing 👻

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Really really enjoyed this 😂

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You got me at Stringer Bell.

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