It's houses to drool over on the British coastline, Rightmove Roundup!

They will make you wet. Because of their proximity to the sea.

Mar 19, 2025

Today we hare around all three countries of Britain: from the 1970s shagpad above to a modernist Scandi cabin, a steal in Deal and a madness in Margate - and wait til you see the wreck of the week!

Below: Russell Loughlan’s house in Deal, photographed by Boz Gavoski.)

ONE: 18th Century Cottage in Deal, from House & Garden mag

I’m trying very hard not to say Deal or no Deal, in fact I’ve been typing and re-typing this sentence for literally minutes now. Cannot Deal. And that’s without even mentioning that Deal is only four miles away from Sandwich. Good old Kent.

This house isn’t for sale, but isn’t it nice? An 18th century cottage belonging to an interior designer called Russell Loughlan, who runs thehouseondolphinstreet.

Apparently yer man Russell bought this cottage thinking it was from 1840 - it was very important to him that it was not Georgian, no more Georgian, enough of the Georgian already - only to discover the original structure lurking underneath was in fact from 1706, ie Georgian.

I myself have been tricked into purchasing at least 47 Georgian cottages in exactly the same manner, so can empathise. Hate it when that happens.

“My previous house had broken me emotionally and financially,” Russell said, which is ironic, because these photos of his current one have done the same to me - I’ve just had to mentally redecorate my own home in Once Angered Now Quietened Dolphin, Stinker in the Pinker and Celeriac Bunting Divorce.

I also had to invent the paint colour names - consultancy rates available by DM.

It’s all a bit too perfect though, isn’t it - why do people talk about embracing the imperfection of old houses, then iron out every imperfection? Until my PhD funding comes through to spend three years scrutinising this, I’ll embrace the vague possibility that people tidy up before the photographer comes round.

TWO: Georgian cottage for sale in North Street, Deal, £500k

Now if you want to buy something similar - and I’m warning you, it says Georgian on this here tin - this Grade 2 listed cottage on North Street is mere nanoseconds from the sea. It carries itself with the dignity of a retired naval chaplain who balances his great learning and bravery with the fact that he’s five foot six and can’t pronounce autodidact.

And now we’re going all of 20 miles up the coast, to my friends Rob and Amber’s flat, which was recently featured in World of Interiors!

THREE: Rob and Amber’s flat in Margate!

Photographed by Tara Darby for WoI.

Well this is a real media c*nt soup if ever there was one, as this flat belongs to two of my friends, with the article written by another of my friends, and photographed by yet another of my friends, and I know them all for separate reasons so can’t really believe I didn’t get a shout-out as some kind of unifying force of c*ntitude.

What is wrong with people?

You might have seen Amber Butchart on the telly, being brilliant about the history of fashion, while her partner Rob Flowers has illustrated many juicy fruity things.

Anyway, if you miss The Selby, and oh lord who doesn’t miss The Selby, then this should give you a heavenly flashback to the days of interiors shoots with adults piling their retro toys high, and adulthood merging with fun to create immortal life.

And here’s a link to their previous flat too…

FOUR: One bed flat, Margate seafront, £200k

So if you’d like to buy something similar, you might want to start here, with this one bedroom leasehold flat on an upper floor of Ethelbert Terrace overlooking the sea and the sunsets that Turner loved to paint. The skies that have drawn Tracey Emin back to her hometown as well.

(Did you know Tracey Emin has opened an art foundation, ie her own art school, about two minutes’ walk from this flat? There is truly so much going on in Margate!)

(Alright the £200k flat might not look quite as arty as Amber and Rob’s yet but it’s practically a David Hockney in its own way!)

FIVE: The Passing Place, Fiscavaig, Isle of Skye, £455,000

And now for something completely different: a supercool modern cabin on the western fringe of the Isle of Skye, Scotland.

Now Skye is an island that is large, mysterious and accessible - rather like me - given there’s a road bridge to the mainland. Although when I last went to Skye, as a smol child, they hadn’t built the bridge yet, so we had to get the ferry. I have lulled myself to sleep with the words Caledonian Macbrayne ever since.

As I remember it, we stayed in Ullapool the night before, in a hotel called The Ceilidh Place that had its own bookshop - utter heaven - but I’m sure one of my family will soon be along in the comments section to disabuse me of my false memory syndrome and tell me I’m confusing three different islands and four different holidays. And that I’ve never even been on a boat.

(That’s actually a hint for my mum to deliver her best Tom Stoppard quote… you can’t not be on a boat…)

The cabin house, designed by architects Rural Studio in 2017 (aka the height of strandboard mania), even has its own Airstream, currently run as an Airbnb. Look!

Look inside ye Airstream, and weep:

SIX: 6 bed 1970s shagpad, St Mawgan, Cornwall, £1.2m

Charging hundreds of miles down the west coast of Britain, we arrive at North Cornwall. Now I’m very good with South Devon and South Cornwall, what with my mum being from there - she can’t not be on a boat - but I know precious little of their upstairs cousins, based as they are on an entirely different sea. Did you know it’s called the Celtic Sea? I did not.

This modernist dreampad, known as The Garden House, was built in 1974 and is a few miles inland and up the river from the actual coast. But extremely close to Newquay airport if you need to do twattish things like fly from London to Cornwall à la Rishi Sunak.

It has six bedrooms, 5000 square feet and well over an acre of garden, as well as an indoor AND an outdoor pool and views all across the valley.

MAD INDOOR POOL HERE: