The Rightmove Roundup goes to York, so good they named it once!

Olld York! If you can make it there you can make it anywhere! Though possibly not Selby.

(Photo of the artist Mark Hearld’s house by Christina Jansen.)

Sometimes I think there’s too much nostalgia on the internet, but then I see a post about the Parliament Street fountains in York, the ones that caused so much trouble that the council demolished them, and then I realise that no, this is the greatest and indeed the only thing worth discussing on the internet.

As the York Press wrote yesterday:

“Today we are looking at the troubled history of the fountain - an old landmark which brings back mixed memories today for the people of York.”

Mate, you had to be there.

You see, York might be a city with a beautiful historic core, Roman and Viking remains, the Minster full of stained glass and holy heights, the cosy pubs, the medieval walls on which we used to hang the heads of our traitors in a cute way - but in the early 1990s a lot of it was pretty bland.

So the council decided to spend some money pedestrianising Parliament Street, a relatively modern area, to turn it into a hub. The focal point was the new fountain feature, lovingly built from slabs of something with really sharp edges and no outward signs of craftsmanship at all.

But as soon as some jokers discovered you could pour dye into the water, things took a turn. Going into town on a Saturday morning gained a whole new level of excitement now that you’d find out if some excitable pissheads had turned the water bubblegum pink, bile yellow or radioactive green on Friday night. (BUT WHY CAN I NOT FIND ANY PHOTOS OF IT LIKE THAT?)

(GENUINELY THINK THAT PINK CHILD COULD BE ME THO)

If washing up liquid had also been chucked in, then bubbles would compound the fountain’s troubles and - honestly I’m laughing just writing this down -the marauding froth would sprawl right over the edges, sometimes flooding into more than one street at a time.

It was as if the Vikings had returned in the form of foam.

And the more the council hated the soggy sight, the more we laughed, until they demolished it in 2018.

I quote the local paper York Press on their reasons:

PURE POETRY.

And now it seems the internet has deemed it a Site of Historical Social Gathering. No mean feat in a city that was both a Roman and Viking capital.

We did it, Joe!

So now let’s look at built structures in York that are actually beautiful. Believe me, there are many, because York is full of artists making their houses all lovely.

ONE:

Firstly, my brother’s best friend since primary school, the artist Mark Hearld, has a Georgian terraced townhouse that can be visited during the town’s annual Open Studios in April. His incredible home and workplace has been written about in the Bible of British Taste, World of Interiors, the Guardian, the Scottish Gallery, et al.

Having had the pleasure of visiting several times I’d like to see a LOT more coverage of the sarcophagus in his cellar though. She’s a lovely Roman skeleton in a glass case - I’ve forgotten her name - and a benign presence, as Mark lovingly describes her.

TWO:

Then there’s another artist, Rosie Ramsden, who isn’t in the town centre but in her husband’s native North Yorkshire village - they moved back after he finished running Pidgin, his Michelin star winning restaurant in Hackney, London. Guess they’d had enough of pigeons in general. I am hilarious.

No but the funniest bit is that I met Rosie when their London house was up for sale and I went for a nosey round it because I am insatiable and one of her children said ‘Mummy what’s this?’ and presented us with a tampon while I was inspecting the en suite. Now we are acquaintances and I’ve become a big fan of her art.

Here are Rosie Ramsden’s living and painting and renting out the cottage places up north:

In fact I could write a whole list of great artists based in York - who all eat at PARTISAN, the best restaurant and a beautiful place that champions their work - but I must get on with the houses.

THREE:

Lisa Dawson, who gained a huge following on Instagram when she renovated a lil Georgian manor on the outskirts of the town, is now renting a townhouse in sight of York Minster while desperately looking for her next project. I can’t stop noseying at it:

NOW FOR THE ACTUAL RIGHTMOVE!

Oh but I’ve been dreading this bit, only because York got expensive in the last few years and suddenly all my favourite houses there cost a million quid. Which is just silly. What are houses in YORK doing costing a million quid? But they are, so here’s a couple of them:

FOUR: 5 bed terraced townhouse, £995k, Mount Vale, York

FIVE: 5 bed, 3 storey apartment, Minster Yard, reduced to £875k

Ok so this is a leasehold apartment BUT it’s three thousand square feet! Enormous. And literally in spitting distance of the Minster. Alright, if your tongue is pretty long.

Dammit I’ve run out of space to show you the cheaper houses but try the Fishergate terraces (Alma Terrace, Farndale St, Rosedale St) and Bishy Road (sorry full name Bishopthorpe Road) for ones that are at least a bit smaller. MORE ON THIS ANOTHER TIME!

PS: Here’s a fun place to book a stay and sleep almost under the stars: Roma Rose caravan, out on a farm on the Castle Howard estate.

PPS: Try not to be too heartbroken if you never saw our famous, beloved, dog piss flavoured fountain. It is never too late to visit York. And dream of what it was like.