Help I think I'm trying to dress like my teenager

In a fight to the bumcrack, who will win?

The heaven of trying on your teenage daughter's new jeans and finding out they fit you just right. The hell of finding out this is because she ordered a pair large enough to dangle from her buttocks, allowing daylight into a place I reserve for darkness. The mid-range, semi-detached feeling of handing her a fiver to go straight to the charity shops and buy herself a belt.